Another exciting day....

Taxi driver arrived this morning to take me to a meeting at some God-forsaken place miles away. Showed him the address, printed out from the office, in Chinese, English & Biddulph so he could read it no matter what country he came from. I've learned the hard way - show them a business card or somethng to show where you want to go, or they get half way to where they THINK you want to go and then ask you for bloody directions. When you say "Not a clue mate - I'm from Congleton!", they just think "Easy prey - double the price & drive there by Botswana!"

 

True to form, this numpty had the brain of a mountain goat and got lost. He asked me, asked his office, asked several people on the way (by stopping in the middle of the bloody road, leaving me sat in the car while thousands of other drivers honked behind us) and even stopped at the side of the motorway to have a piss up the side of his own cab!!!!

We ended up in the middle of no-where - open countryside (but still thick with smog) and he suddenly stopped, pointed to the address on the sheet and pointed outside as if to say "we are here!". He pointed to the counter that showed the fee, and basically wanted me to get out!!!! Naturally, I reminded him that my meeting was more likely to be in a hotel or at the very least a building or even a shed, not in an open field. He phoned his office, and gave me the phone so I could speak to Cheetah the monkey myself. Eventually he set off until I saw a road that looked like it might lead to something bigger than a shack with a pig in it and - bingo, we were there. Praise the Lord. He obviously ripped me off but I was past caring, and just grateful he hadn't thrown me out (he was a ruffian & wasn't wearing a suit) & left me to die in the heat to be eaten by dingos.

 

Naturally, there was no bloody tea, and soon the presentations started. All 17 of them. All in Chinese, but some with Powerpoint slides in both Chinese and English. All were every long and all broadly repeated what the previous speaker had said. Most of the people there paid no attention at all & just played with their phones or even went to work on their laptops!!! I made lots of notes including "No f*cker is paying any attention - no wonder they need help!"

 

Lunch was good (as always) - but still no tea. The afternoon session was the same, and I was convinced I'd spot someone asleep. It finished at 6.30, and as we all got up, someone else came on to do an encore with some more slides!!!! Bizzare.

 

Having learned my lesson, I went to the taxi vultures and showed them my card with my address on it. I then let the bastards bid for my business. Revenge. Mind, the winning bidder's car stunk of vomit - probably from some poor sod who'd fallen ill after a 16 day ride to get to his destination.

 

I came in, had a shower and might just have a bowl of Corn Flakes (from my welcome pack) with some of the shit milk they have, for my tea.

 

Oh - and a cup of tea. At last...