Being 50....

I've been offended twice in the last week or so. Not by people's general lack of manners, pushing, shoving or even men(and women) clearing the back of their throats (in restaurants)....

 

But by people making comments about my age & size...

 

A couple of weeks ago, my chum and I were trying looking at some new underwear (please don't make hasty judgements there). The sizes over here are different, and we just couldn't figure them out - naturally, it'd too much to expect anything to be in inches, but even the metric measurements on the packets didn't make sense...surely these people can't be over 100cm around the waste (most of them are tiny)?

 

In the end, I handed some sexyboy trunks, which - if the picture on the front was anything to go by - would also enhance the size of my todger quite substantially - to a chap who as also browsing, and looked about the same size as me (around the waste). Luckily, he did speak English. But he said "I would normally buy this size...yes....but I think.....(looking at me)....I think you need a bigger size!" - and handed me an XL pair.....

 

I can only assume he had XRAY eyes and could see my todger was already substantially larger than his own, but didn't like to admit it.

 

Last night, we were looking at aftershave. Again - please don't assume 2 blokes doing such things together suggests anything untoward - it was inbetween the dodgy DVD shop and the bar, and he had not one, but two dates (due at the same time - he gambled one wouldn't show....no doubt he'll update me later today). A nice young boy insisted on helping us / mithering us, and naturally I was happy to spray myself with allsorts (like I usually do at the airport so I'm not sweaty on the plane!) when he said something even more offensive...

 

I'd tried a standard CK thing...think it was the original...and he insisted I try a new one...CK Free, I think....and when my face suggested I might want to try CK2, he waved his hands ("No") and said - in poor English - "Theeese 2 (CK1 / CK2) are forrrr young man.....theeese one is for you!"

 

Naturally, the new one was more expensive....

 

I therefore conclude that, with age, comes the desire to smell like cat urine, but enhanced wealth....as well as a bigger belly but - thankfully - a substantially larger todger as well.....