JLS (condoms) TO SPLIT SHOCK HORROR

No point in me going to bed now, as planned, because I won't be able to sleep after hearing the DEVASTATING news - JLS ARE TO SPLIT.

I don't know what to say.

This is right up there with 'JFK HAS BEEN SHOT'.....The Challenger shuttle exploding....9/11....Victoria Beckham deciding to halt her career as a solo artist to become....er.....something else.....

I'm gutted.

I wonder if the boy's rubber johnnie's will now be sold off cheap? Or will they split, too? (Ouch)

Never mind....after the 'Greatest Hits' compilation (with one new song) and the 'First Final Farewell Tour', the little one who can do a backflip will have a bit of a solo career, the other one will drive racing cars (into the crash barriers), the other one will become a DJ (is any of this starting to sound familiar yet?) and the other one will appear on 'Celebrity Big Brother'...

Then they'll all miss each other, and run out of cash to pay the bill for fixing the pump in the swimming pool, plus a tax bill, and beg the little one to come back, and the whole thing will be filmed for a TV reunion special, with them all meeting up at a posh hotel, hugging each other and saying "We all feel we have unfinished business...."

Sound even more familiar?

I hope the condoms have long sell-by dates...do johnnies go 'off'? I'll buy a load while they are cheap, store them, and sell them outside the arenas when they do the 'First Reunion Tour' - I'll make a killing!!

On second thoughts, I think I WILL go to bed.....and rest easy....