Monday 26 August 2013

"Quack quack"

Flew from BJ right down South on Monday - 3.5 hour flight then a 2 hour drive with Parker (who never turns the aircon on in the car - bizzare - like they never put lights on at night...WHY?)and am now in YUXI. Nice enough place, greener than 'up north' and the air is cleaner. Still bloody boiling hot (and no aircon in the room I'm working in)...
The traditional meal out with my hosts last nigh...yes, to a 'famous' restaurant...this time I had fried tree leaves (yes - leaves off a tree, complete with the stems!) - don't be an arse & ask "what kind of tree?" - they are off a TREE for heaven's sake!! What more do you need to know? Does your 'Jamie Oliver book of cooking Foliage at Christmas' suggest oak or something, for extra flavour? I don't give a toss - they were actually more edible than I expected (well, I had a couple before declaring I was full)...
Next up was (left to right in photo 3)was fried bees (yes, as in bbbbuuuzzzzzzzzz), small duck's stomachs (they emphasised 'small', as they are more of a delicacy) and then nuts. I ate the nuts, and - being brave - one bee. I declined the quackaty-quack tummy's in preference to the Snickers & Mars Bars that I knew were waiting for me, like a randy woman (not) back at my hotel...
Driving back, there were some nice sights, building lit up etc, even a giant neon rainbow that stetched across several buildings. Just weird sat in a car, in silence because the driver doesn't understand me, being given this tour on my own, then back to my (grim) hotel. Anyway...
Driving in today, I noticed most of the pavements were being dug up - and I mean mils & miles of them, by big diggers, but in complete contrast to the UK, no barriers or H&S stuff - people were walking around the diggers, jumping over the holes to get into the shops etc. Comedy. Mind, I guess that 'compensation' culture hasn't hit over here yet - break your leg & it's just hard luck - you should have jumped further! With a bit of luck, someone will help you out from the hole - if you're lucky!!
Sent in this week's Mr G column last night - it's a real rant, after last week's was censored & butchered by the editor, who blames his right-hand-man (who is Welsh): if last week's offended, this certainly will!!! And do I give a toss? Nah - as always, my theory is, for every person I offend, hundreds more agree with what I said, and even more are laughing, so it's a logical calculation for me...I'm past caring...
I fly back to BJ tomorrow (Weds)

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