Just back after 3 days in Mongolia. What fun!!
Much of the adventure is covered in this week's column, assuming it got through - for 50% of my time there, there was no power in the building - or surrounding area!!
They thought I'd been sent by God - after a day with them, they were begging me to come back & do 'the full job' (this was a pre-pre-pilot project visit) - and were showering me with gifts. I kept saying "No, really, that's what I'm here for, and it ain't rocket science, it's no trouble - just get the bloody power back on & get the kettle on!" - problem was, all the gifts were food, most of which made me want to spew.
On the last night, they insisted on taking me to a traditional Mongolian banquet - Jeez, the traditional breakfast the day before had made me spew, and sure enough, at one point, I rushed to the bog - which I couldn't find because all the bloody signs were in Mongolian - so I ended up hanging over the balcony. I'm sure I've eaten relatives of Ozzie (the Dog of Darkness) & Bader (the Dog Beast) - as well as my gran's budgie.
When they took me to the airport, it was emotional - they didn't want me to go, and I was desperate to get to the bog so Vesuvius could finally erupt, but they made a big thing of giving me a GIANT box of 'meat' to bring home (see photo). I usually take my laptop & overnight bag onto the plane with me, but I knew the box of dog would take me over the limit, so I put the blood thing through into the hold, which caused a few raised eye-brows at check-in. I thought (hoped) one of the sniffer dogs that checks the bags might have had got a stiffy and either mounted the box or eaten it, but - no - the bloody thing came through at the other end (you can see the label on the top).
I have no intention of even opening it. let alone eating it. The family are coming over to see me in a month or so, and thought I might send it back with them (it's all dried stuff) but thought British customs would arrest my wife & quarantine my kids for 3 months to check they don't have rabies, foot & mouth or turn into werewolves overnight.
To be fair, the people were REALLY lovely, and so grateful for the help. I felt like Mother Teresa. I look forward to going back, and the air was so clean - they even have HILLS & MOUNTAINS - but may ask that instead of giving me another box of 'meat', the receptionist just gets her baps out for me whenever the power goes off instead.
Anyway, much of this is in this week's column. So buy the bloody paper.
Back in the office tomorrow, then it's Friday, which means an afternoon meeting in 'the meeting room downstairs' (Starbucks) then off into town for the usual Friday night fun.
Oh - gutted I was flying while you lot watched the Olympics closing ceremony. Thought Kate Bushy was going to be on. Gutted. Baby Spice will have to do instead. I like Baby Spice - is it Emma Bunton? Either way, there's some meat here if she wants it. She only has to ask. **
** This was a juvenile remark, and I apologise. I should grow up. And I apologise to Holly Willoughbooby, who is my first choice. But I'd invite Emma & Bushy, to share the meat, too? Oh and Nigella....and....
No comments:
Post a Comment