Bored, bored, bored, bored, BORED!!

There was a classic episode of 'The Young Ones' called 'Bored'.

 

It starts with Rik saying "Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, BORED!"

 

In some ways, Rik and I were / are alike. He was a young Tory, thought he was a creative genius, but was unsuccessful with women.

 

Mind, with the very next line, he says "This is almost as boring as listening to GENESIS!" - which makes him a total twat, and not like me at all.

 

But I AM bored, and AM listening to Genesis as I type this (actually, I lie - it's Dream Theater, but give me some creative license!)

 

I've been bored quite a lot lately, so have been buying loads of pirate dvd's for £1 each. They are fantastic quality, and I LOVE browsing through the massive selection in the shop. Locals back home may have noticed the surge in the number of reviews I've been sending in to 'The Chron', and I've done 4 more over the weekend (now you know why I've been so unsuccessful with women!!)

 

Anyway, I've just watched 'The Hunger Games' which was OTAL AND UTTER DOG'S BIZ. Hell, it was such hard work, I stared writing the review before it was even half way through - typing and watching it through the corner of my eye (this is quite a technical feat for a bloke with one eye). I was determined to get my monies worth!!!

 

By the end - (even though I'd predicted it within 10 minutes of the film starting) - I was so depressed, I thought about throwing myself from my apartment window, just to cheer myself up. I'm11 floors up, so I'd have a fair chance of surviving, and at least I could chat to the man in the ambulance - "Have you seen 'The Hunger games? Isn't it SHITE?!!" - but it then occurred to me:

 

1. The ambulance man would be Chinese, so the chances of meaningful conversation would be minimal to say the least
2. The air is so bad here (read my column this week) that, suffering from inevitable injury from the fall, my breathing is bound to have increased substantially as I battled to survive, and as I gulped in the air (as people who have fallen from 11 floors always do in 'Holby City') - I would breathe in even more nitrogen dioxide, which would accelerate death

 

So I didn't.