tonight,via the dodgy DVD shop. It's a tradition - like Ben Hur on
Christmas day, or going to the chippy on Friday lunchtime.
Anyway, I only bought one DVD ('Shame', directed by Steve McQueen) but
wanted to buy a belt (to keep my pants up). Of course, on the
'leather' floor in the market, there are thousands of such things, and
my plan was a quick 'in / out' rather than be mithered to death by
people mauling me and saying "You want suitcase sir?","You looking for
nice shoes, sir? - good price!"
The first stall I saw had a number of German businessmen battering the
young lad for the best price - each keen to show the others that he
could get an even better deal. I think they were buying a wallet. Five
of them to buy one wallet. Anyway, it ave me the chance to chose my
belt unpestered. It was made by Hugo Boss (honest). The lad survived
the Germans, who went of high-fiving each in glorious victory, and the
lad reached for his calculator (all bartering is done by stabbing the
offered price onto the screen) - he started at the equivalent of £7. I
tapped in £3, because I knew that was the going rate, and after the
usual to-ing and fro-ing, we had a deal.
The lad was keen to please & deliver good service, and he threw the
belt around my waist to check the size - "Too big", and he promptly
cut the end off with some scissors!!! As he reassembled the end
buckle, replicating the construction process originally used in the
Hugo Boss workshop, of course, he said "You British, yes?", which I
confirmed. He then said "Manchester!" - I'm not sure if this was a
luck guess or even he had sussed my (apparently) very strong accent. I
say it makes me sound like James Bond, everyone else says I am Noel
Gallagher.
The kid then said "Wayne Rooney! He been here today!" - which made me
smile. Perhaps he'd been in to buy a few knock off Man United shirts
for his kid, or even a Man City shirt for his Guy Fawkes effigy, ready
for bonfire night, and a LIverpool shirt to start the fire with. He
added, "Yes.....he been here today to.....to.....to....." and,
struggling for the last word, reached into a draw, and pulled out a
tatty notebook, full of words he'd noted down for just such occasions,
and to help him in negotiating inter-continental trade agreements etc.
After reading through, he found the word he was looking for -
"SHOPPING - Wayne Rooney here today SHOPPING!". Class.
He checked the belt around my waste again after more bashing, trimming
with his scissors and attention with a screwdriver (the belt, not my
waste) he gave me the bag.
I shook his hand. I respect these people - they are just trying to
make a living, after all, instead of rioting and smashing shop windows
then blaming someone else.
A few moments later, as I walked past the DVD shop again (I'm drawn to
it like ladies underwear shops back home) I thought I saw someone I
recognised browsing, wearing dark glasses....and a Man United baseball
cap....
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