(Note - remember where I am - so written in 'code')
Young Joe asked me tonight - "Hey Uncle....you ever taken anything stronger than bloody tea?"
They were slightly taken aback when mentioned I'd had some coke.....a cola.....
Speechless, in fact.
I recall it vividly.....must have been some 25 years ago....
My pal and I (known as "THE PIG") decided to 'do the business' (hey - don't think any funny business - read on!) and a friend who knew about such things (he was a rebel poet who liked punk) got us some 'stuff'.
One Saturday night....we looked at it for a while.....and lined the cans up on the table - like on the telly. And 'did the business'.
Nothing happened.
I was convinced we'd handed over a small fortune for a small bag of 'BOOTS' talcum powder.
Then....
I said "You know, Porky....I reckon I could have Mike Tyson"....
Now, you must remember - at the time, Tyson was the undisputed heavyweight champ - the baddest man on the planet. And - at the time, I weighed about 9 stone.
My pal said - "oh, eye....how?"
It seems I then recited a detailed plan about me using my light weight to dance around the ring (ie RUN) until Tyson got bored and dropped his guard. Then - BOP - I'd have him. Simple as that really. Devastatingly simple plan, I think you'll agree, if not entirely flawless....
I never used talcum powder again.
But whenever I see those old films of Tyson.....I.......wonder......what might have been.......
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