Fwd: "PIES HAVE COME!!!!"

Kept myself busy this weekend...

 

On Friday, rumours rumbled around the Grumpy office that a PIE shop had opened in Sanlitun, which is always on my weekend agenda...naturally, I stopped work immediately (well, after I'd submitted my expenses for the Russia 'experience') - a quick Google search revealed 'Two Guys and a Pie' - indeed, a pie shop in Beijing!! Sadly, it was run by 2 Aussies (I work with a guy I nicknamed - imaginatively - 'Skippy', who is a highly-irritating Aussie, but these two had the AUDACITY to claim pies originated from Australia!!! I quickly emailed them to put them straight - a quick-fire word-association game with a retarded kangaroo would give an instant response to "PIE" with the retort "HOLLANDS!", but the cheeky git quipped back "yeah, you guys invent stuff, we make it better!"....so the abuse got thick & fast (in fact, the office server blocked some of it so I had to **** some words....)

 

Anyway, I told him the only thing Australia invented were kangaroos and koala bears - in fact Skippy the bloody Bush Kangaroo is there most famous 'person' after bloody Kylie. Actually, I know a woman who was amazed when I said I'd rather shag her than Kylie (I really would) and finished my abuse by saying their total contribution to modern culture really was her (and Bouncer the dog!), INXS (he did himself in) and that band who sang "D'ya come from a land down-under!" (Men at work - just looked it up to save you the job). We, of course, have Led Zep, the Stones (although I always thought they were shite), the mighty Genesis and Pink Floyd....they even copied them, with 'The Australian Pink Floyd' - I rest my case....anyway, we went for a pie - with mash, peas & gravy. £4. Yum I admit. To be fair, I'll email him back on Monday & tell him so. And then abuse him again simply for being Aussie...

I'm rambling now....change the subject....

 

Went to IKEA with a pal - BAD MOVE - the place is PACKED with tw*ts who spend all day there - honestly, it's a family outing for this lot. Cheap breakfast, then a nice sit down on the furniture, play with their phones, or even get the family to sit round the tables, then a cheap lunch (meat balls made from donkey - no problem here!!) then a kip on the beds!!! I KID YOU NOT. 

 

Went for a walk today, down to the river. It's my fave place here, and I often go and sit there alone. Deep breath, Grumpy....

 

Cheered myself up with a visit to the DVD shop - love it...bought a load of stuff to keep me occupied, but bumped into a gang of guys from the office as I walked past a bar...sadly, one of them insisted on opening one of my bags...when he pulled out a 'Downton Abbey' box set and the new Josh Groban CD, they took the p*ss something rotten, mainly revolving around "what 50-year old blokes like to do at weekend" - they were pretty drunk and had several very young Chinese girls in tow...I did feel awkward, so went for another pie to cheer myself up (be rude to be so close and not call in again) and sat by the river again...

 

I've been a bit stressed all day though, knowing that when I got back I'd have to change the bedding...only have one set, so it's a case of up early, ash it, leave to dry (no tumble drier) and hope it dries....not an issue, but is imply CANNOT get the quilt back inside the cover....drives me NUTS. I've always struggled - harder than ANY assessment any PLC or brand has ever put me through....UTTERLY stressful - the hardest thing a man can do - even more so than putting down the loo seat (which I ALWAYS do, so I'm referring to my male colleagues there) or ejaculating too soon. I've done it (NOT the latter), after several attempts & much swearing, but it's very obvious it's in the wrong way...but, to be frank, I don't care.

 

And - guys from the office - I'm typing this playing that Josh Groban CD. But I bet YOU leave the bog seat up....and come too soon....

 

I suppose I'm happy with who I am....what I am....inside, if not outside....