Progress?

The IT boys called me today & proudly announced a couple of new iphone 5 things had arrived for me and a chum. My learned colleague had been waiting like a cat on a calor gas stove (or a bloke desperate for his new toy) for days and nearly knocked me over to get in the lift to the 26th floor....this in itself is quite a challenge, because the lift only goes up to floor 18, then you have to get out and get in a different one to get any higher. Logical, and another great example of how well things are done here. Can you imagine the builder saying "Job done, Mr Developer, now can I have my 1.6 million squids for building this magnificent piece of modern architecture?" and Mr Developer replying "You can if you can come up to my office on the 26th, next to the IT department, but it seems the lift stops at 18, you bloody tosser!!!"

 

Thus - we have two lifts...comedy...

 

Anyway, we got them and as he ripped the box open like I'd rip open a plain brown package from Ann Summers marked 'Private', and soon we were trying to connect to the thunder cloud or something so the stuff off our old phones could be teleported up and down and onto the new ones...I lost interest after 27 seconds - about my attention span (marginally better than that of a goat) - and left him to it : messing with 2 phones was twice the fun, it seems, a bit like a 6-year old boy being given two plastic trucks to play with instead of one - after all, two can have a head-on collision!

 

So, now, it's on the table in front of me. I'm told it's better than the old one, although it looks rather less sturdy - it I sit on it, it may well break. I'll get a cover for it tomorrow, as my excitable chum broke the front of his old one the other day and it cost him 80 quid for a new screen. Christ, I could buy a 24" telly screen for that here!!

 

I recall my first ever mobile phone - photo of me above (I was just as good looking then, wasn't I?) and how it weighed a ton (but bet the bloody battery lasted longer than it does on an iphone!) and it cot me a FORTUNE. What did we do then without texts? (We imagined what our girlfriends / wives tits looked like, for a start!) and, of course 'We Chat'....some of you know what I'm talking about, the rest of you own a caravan....

 

I think my daughter is more excited about it than I am. She wants me to buy an 'Olly Murs' cover for it. Do they do 'Genesis' covers? Peter Gabriel? I somehow doubt it....I might have one made that says "I didn't buy the bloody thing, the IT department gave it to me". I downloaded a traditional phone ring tone for it, like Dixon of Dock Green's. I is British!!

 

Jeez - next thing, I'll be walking around wearing 'Beats' headphones....then I WILL look a total tosser!!!

 

I'm getting my haircut tomorrow in the extremely gay hairdressers. My man, Kim (who wears a George Michael cap) will be thrilled and want to play with it (the phone!) while the rest of his team pretend to be The Village People and offer me coffee that tastes like shite. We have an arrangement - he shaves my head & trims my stubble - I give him £3.60. I keep intending to steal him a new cap from work, but I think he'd rather have my phone...