I is like Judith Chalmers...

Was that her name? Chunky old bird who presented 'The Holiday Programme' or something? Think her daughter is a pop star? Theme music by Gordon Gilltrap I recall? (I'm getting too obscure for you, I can tell...)

Anyway, my kind hosts took me to Nanxun tonight - an 'old town' (sort of) with a load of tacky tourist shit bolted on. Plastic guns for the kids next to silk scarves...you know the score...

Seems it's been there for thousands of years, although I think our guide was talking the piss a bit showing us some railings that were supposed to be good luck etc - they must have been clever in those days, using spot welds....looked like my garden gate, to be honest.

The original owner was a billionaire way back a hundred years or go or so - that's stinking rich - and built the place so he could chill out a bit (don't blame him) and relax by that big pool ('The Lotus Pool' I think it was called) - he liked to read a book, maybe with a brew, I suspect. In fact, he liked books so much, he had a library built and he filled it with 6,000,000 books - maybe he made his money on Amazon? Anyway, when it all went tits up, he had to sell a load, and was down to 100,000 when he croaked.

Joking aside, it was certainly peaceful, and I again wished for some company - my translator was sick of telling me what the guide was saying after 5 minutes, so I left them to it and wandered around taking photos on my own, with people staring at me - western guy in a suit. Not the norm here...

There was a guy making combs, who looked like a 'craftsman' but lots of stalls selling crap - at weekends & holiday time, the place is PACKED, I'm told, so it was nice to see it really empty.

There was an exhibition of (very) old photographs, many of which were shite and made 'camera club' portraits look good (I used to be in one) and I was suprised how many nipples were on show (remember, this is China, and the photos were super-old) - but the one I've put on here, taken of the old place as it used to be, sums it all up nicely.

It was kind of my hosts to take me, particularly as the night before, I'd been gobbing off about the VW Golf being one of the most boring cars in the world (unless it has a f*ck off big engine in it....and I had one of the original Golf GTi's many years ago...4 speeder, golf ball gear knob etc) - anyway, my driver today picked me up in one. Ouch...

At dinner tonight (a steak!!), I did the decent thing & apologised. They all looked baffled. They don't do 'sorry' here.

But I do.