Greetings
I'm sat here typing (obviously) with a cup of tea and some digestive biscuits that taste nothing like digestive biscuits. Now I know how Bader (The Dog Beast) and Ozzie (The Dog of Darkness) feel when I offer them a 'Bonio' dog biscuit. Mind, Ozzie eats his own poo, so the fact he looks at me as if to say "Haven't you got any chocky digestives or Hob Nobs instead?" says it all. I can confirm the ones I buy here are not as 'dunkable' as the proper ones back home - soaking time is significantly reduced, and I've had a few disasters and 'drop-offs'.
Anyway, I'm already digressing...
I had an email last night from 'Baz', who's a Mr G fan, and he said "nearly 2 weeks without a blog entry - you been arrested?", so you've him to thank for this. Baz likes trains. He photographs them (rather well actually). It takes all sorts...
My apartment is a mess - luggage & packing everywhere - that's normally sad because it means visitors are leaving, but this time it's because I'm going home. Mind, as I write this (Sunday) I've got to fly all over the place this week before going home at weekend - it's all a bit tight, so I hope there are no delays on the way - one place I'm going to is pretty remote, with flights only every other day, so I'll not be relaxed until I'm back here (briefly) in Beijing before flying home (via London) the next day.
I've lots of stuff to take back - mainly shoes, shirts, DVD's & headphones from the 'market' where the authenticity of such stuff is proportional to the price you pay (if you get my drift). The other day, I saw a bloke who insisted he'd just bought some genuine 'Ugg' boots for a bargain price, and I tried to gently tell him that they were as genuine as a Simon Cowell comment along the lines of "You'll go far!" or my own claim to be the Pope, on a secret mission to 'convert' China. His last argument was "They are in a real Ugg box!" to which I replied "If they can copy the shoes, the bloody box is the easy part!". He paid £70, and should've paid no more than £20. He had a stupid accent (not English or mancunian) so my sympathy ended there...
I've been busy writing the next 2 week's columns for 'The Chron', needed early due to Christmas printing deadlines, and to accomodate the editor's drinking habits, which are closely followed by his falling over habits. The inbetweenchristmasandnewyear one is sentimental, as always, so be warned.
Today's photo was taken by the trees where I often sit and contemplate. They often drive motorbikes on the pavements without lights so I can only assume the this is a pathetic attempt to stop them crashing into trees (crashing into people is clearly OK - I nearly copped for it myself a few weeks ago) but you will notice the chimp who was doing it got as much on the floor as he did the tree....delicate? Attention to detail? Give over!!
I've had my hair cut (shaved) this morning - giutted that my usual 'Village People' place (as gay as they come) was shut so instead of £3.70 with 'Kim' (he's a man - I think / hope) I had to pay a tenner in a posher place with a straight bloke who wasn't nearly as friendly as my pal Kim, who knows what I like (does that last passage sound odd? Don't get any ideas - it's the £3.70 that appeals!) and then I had a HUGE bowl of fresh noodles for a quid, and bought a massive bunch of banannas for 80p. They laugh at my hat in the fruit & veg shop (I have a dead sheep on my head, and admit I look daft) and go "BAAAAAAA!!" when I walk in. At first I thought they were being friendly, now I think they are taking the p*ss or BAAAAAAA is Chinese for "Look at this tosser again!! Pretend to like him and then charge him twice the price!!!"
On that note, I'll sign off because the internet is playing up (again) and I've some ironing to do before it all dries out (10 minutes after it comes out of the wsher wet)....snowing but dry as a bone. Bizzare place.
So, wherever you are in the world, thanks for reading this and I hope I've made you smile from time to time. Smiling is important. I like to think of you smiling.
And have a wonderful Christmas (assuming you celebrate Christmas) and a happy new year. Keep safe, and may any dreams come true.
Love
Mr G
Beijing, December 2012
PS I'm only being soppy because it's Christmas. Don't get any ideas I'm losing my touch....
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