The 3 Degrees....(below)

I'm somewhere in Mongolia at the moment,and it's chuffing FREEZING - minus 3 degrees actually. Only an hours flight from BJ by Chungfucked airlines (a bottle of cold water for served by Singsungmisery for breakfast) but SO much colder. BUT, the air is fresher - i even took a deep breath as I waitied for our driver this morning. My Chinese colleagues watched fascinated as I walked to a patch of grass I found outside the hotel & clearly enjoyed feeling the softness & springy under my feet. Amazing what you miss...

The hotel is nicer than the last time I came here (thank God)and it's government owned - which means I'll probably have to slip some cash into someone's hand when I check out.There's a big fishtank in reception, with sharks & giant turtles in - a bit James Bond 'Goldfinger' for me, like when he feeds 007 to the sharks and when Bond says "You expect me to talk?" and the baddie says "NO! Mr Bond! I expect you to DIE!!"

My chums joked "If you don't pay your bill, you go in with the sharks!"

I fly back tomorrow, although I'm not sure if I should....there's no hot water in my apartment for 9 days (it's China!) so maybe I'm better off here in my hotel!! Do I freeze OUTSIDE (here) or freeze INSIDE (my apartment) - spoiled for choice!!

It's nice here, and they are trying - they took me to KFC for lunch when I arrived (everyone assumes I want KFC or bloody Pizza Hut) and the staff canteen here just made me a potato dish with lumps of beef fat in - just for me. Everyone watched as if to say "who the feck is HE?"

It reminded me of the classic scene in 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' where a villager in a horrid, squallid town watches King Arthur ride past & says "Who's that?" and someone says "Must be a king..." - "How do you know he's a king?"

Answer - "He hasn't got shit all over him!"...

 

 

PS Apologies for so many blogs piling in at once - I've been sending them, but poor internet access means they piled up in a tunnel (is that a new IT term I just invented?)