The world is full of people who want to make progress - finding a cure for cancer...inventing a big telly that will allow you to smell perfume...a car that sends 3,000,000 volts of electricity into the arse-end of the BMW in front of you when it turns without indicating...
But, no - no such sucess to report today : just some bloody stupid swimming trunks, although I'm sure they'd come off if you actually tried to SWIM in them - certainly they'd fly off if I did one of my spectacular dives...I'm good at diving...
These photos were taken on the shooting set of a new series of 'The Only Way is Essex', being filmed in Spain, from which I hope the cast never return. It's a ghastly programme, showing the very worst of British 'culture' - the makers should be shot at dawn, along with anyone who watches it, then buried in a coffin made from copies of 'HELLO'....
The things cost about 20 quid each...made by a French firm (says it all) and are described as a 'string lateral flash' - it's sort of half a g-string...I confess I'd quite like to see a female version...but any man who would want to wear one must have more 'confidence' than me, I admit, and would need to avoid cold water for sure, but - ultimately - for me, they should be fed to the lions....the 'welcome party' from your Thomas Cook rep when you arrive at Costa Del Ghastly should include a free glass of very cheap fizz, and then a free ticket to see anyone wearing the things fed to Parsley*, along with as much under-cooked food as you can eat...
*(Parsley was a lion....from 'The Herbs'....remember?)
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